Did we believe that we would arrive at our first full year all together still? After the 'Big Change' in January, none of us dared to even consider that possibility. But you survived...we all have. For that, we are truly thankful.
It never gets easy. The long goodbye can seem too difficult to bare at times. But we all get through it the way we are taught in AA...One day at a time.
At times I'm not cheerful, or talkative, or even present. I stay cloistered downstairs much of the time, working, planning, trying to stay positive. But what I am beginning to understand is, the best way to stay positive is to live whatever life I have left away from my self-made "dungeon." Sometimes that means leaving a note and saying "Don't wait up--please call if you need me!"
I wish you had that option, too. I wish you could come and go as you please. I wish you were free of this prison.
But...at least you have the warm sunlight coming through the windows and the aromas coming from the kitchen and the sounds of children playing...as you watch the seasons change.
